discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
