she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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