Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
