I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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