i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
