I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
