What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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