i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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