we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Randomize
