He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My pussy is not your playground.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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