is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
