Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
