And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
