i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Be still, my beating vagina.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
