there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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