If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
