Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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