I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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