Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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