im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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