I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize