i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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