I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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