I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
