Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
