Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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