Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
