are you so shy because you have an std?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
