i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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