Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
