Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
