the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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