i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
