Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
