i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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