There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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