Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
