She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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