He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
