I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
