you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
