How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
