so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
