Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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