Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
