Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
