My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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