no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
