is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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