the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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