just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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