You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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