Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
