If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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