That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
