wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
