shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
