Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
The air taste purple.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
