i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize