if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
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