she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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