last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
