and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he fucked my hip out of place.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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